You can be mad about it, or you can embrace this.

I see so much regret in women's closets, so I tend to lean into the why much more than the how and I'd love for us to dive into the reasons behind the purchases. When we can really see why, we can see how to stop spending money on all the impulse and emotional purchases. (Lest you think I'm immune, call me and we can chat about the seven hundred million ways I've wasted money in my lifetime!🙄)

Fashionpsychology.com tells us that clothing impacts us in 3 different ways…

who we hope to be

who we fear to be

who we are most of the time.

I would add one more-the tension between blending in and standing out.

The "Who You Want To Be" Self

We often dress to bridge the gap between our current self and our "ideal self," choosing clothes that reflect our aspirations, professional goals, or desired personality traits. When we get dressed, we can appear as the person we hope to be or place we want to be-hence the saying, "dress for the job you want".

The "Who You Fear To Be" Self

Fashion is used to mitigate insecurities about our body or status. For instance, people might dress to avoid looking unconfident, outdated, or lacking effort. So to avoid social rejection, we often dress "up" not just to gain respect, but to avoid the specific negative "halo effect" of being taken less seriously. The reason we told our kids not to wear ratty jeans and a T-shirt when they went into a shop for a job application…yes it's comfortable, but also a little lazy. Not necessarily the first impression you want to make!

If I've been in your closet, you'll remember me saying, "How do you want to feel?"

The article words it this way- "Wearapy" and Impression Management (so much fancier!😆)

Clothing is used for emotional regulation, such as wearing comfort clothes when stressed or powerful clothes to feel capable. This practice involves dressing for the mood or persona you want to inhabit rather than how you currently feel, helping to shift negative emotional states toward your desired self.

To blend in or to stand out

The clothing we wear affects how we are perceived and how we carry ourselves. So often our clothing choices are rarely just about appearance, but are deeply linked to how we perceive the life we live and how we need to show up in the world. This is how I shop and how I get dressed every morning. This is also where I lose people. Because it's not fair to be judged based on our appearance, but it happens in 7/10 of a second.

So we can be mad about it or use it to our advantage.

Do I care what people think? Most of the time-no, you should see what I wear to the grocery when I've been goofing around the house all day…**But when it matters, and when I care,** you bet your butt I'm dressing to my advantage.

And that is the foundation for the way I shop.

The striped jacket I didn't buy

But it takes effort. I almost bought a jacket this week at a consignment shop because it was a good brand, practically new, fit me perfectly, killer price and super cute. Why didn't I?

It was striped. I know I don't wear stripes. Tried them, bought them and never wore them. Stripes feel preppy to me, and that's not really my vibe…so I'm not a stripe girl and that's ok.

I'll tell you something funny though, I did say, "well, this is a bit different, cool pockets, great cut, not really that preppy". Almost talking myself into it because of the 5 reasons above.

I asked myself "where would I wear this?", "would I pick something different in that situation?" and it brought me back to who I am and how I want to show up.

I'm telling you, it'll save you a ton of time, money and emotional angst!

If you're looking to figure out exactly how to nail your why, start here. Not selling you a service, just pointing you in the right direction. ❤️